you treat me with such hate that now i cannot see beyond my blodshot eyes. so now i realise that flirting with disease was not a mistake; but a means of escape from you as you always take everything from my inside and spend it thoughtlessly.
now i am empty.
and you dare speak of loyalty and love and everything that is imminent with such speak? leave me to myself for the death of you is what i seek because of the vile and tainted being that you are has become inevitable and crystal and it makes my reflection look better than it was before.
die a lonely death, you that is vile, vicious and villainous.
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How quickly your words of sweetness turn to rage...
Do you not realize that the hatred you perceive from me is only because the passion between us is so intense it drains me of all other sensation?
I was empty long ago...
If my death is what you seek...I will sit here with my eyes open and my throat bared...and I will wait without trepidation to feel you drain this defiled existence from me...it shall be my gift to you...
So do it...
the passion you speak of. is it really existent when i so openly declare it depleted?
my world is still you, and that fact alone will be my demise as i over and over again search for the light in the darkness you have brought forth upon my world. i am bound by the shackles you have forced upon my feet when i chose to make you my freedom.
so what next?
if you so believe that you are passionate about your gaze towards me, then why have you injected the serum of your choice into my bloostream so i will say what you only want to hear? you use me for your pleasure and then leave me to die in the dungeons that you claim to be, your abode, for me.
it is no secret that to see your death is equal to that of wishful thinking. so you can deceive me again by saying i have a choice when again you have left me none.
my anonymity is breached. and my suffocation is blameless.
You were the one who refused to offer your entirety to me, as promised. You showed me your world, and yet now you keep it suspended as a veil between us... a shelter from which you hide yourself behind.
The choice that you had was yours. It was the only freedom I could offer you in this rotting world of slavery to images of you that I fear will never leave my sordid contemplations. You imprisoned yourself to a universe of denials when you decided to remain impermeable to me. You tempt me with the cure to my fatal disease, and then withhold it... you get such pleasure from my suffering, do you not?
You say your suffocation is blameless, and you call yourself prisoner...yet it is I that aches for nothing else but you...and this is YOUR fault. You did this. I had asked for nothing when you came into my life like an apparition from both my nightmares and my dreams. I used you for my pleasure because you were my only ecstasy in this world of anguish and defilement...I only hated you because you were the only thing worthy of my profound hatred.
Your desire for my death perhaps reveals your compassionate side. I AM everything you accuse me of being. I am so tired of it all. All this hatred you feel for me now...let it be your impetus to make me feel the terrible wrath of your violence...kill me...
DO IT...
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