Wednesday, May 11

Memoir ice.

Memories start to flow. Overflow. Aching is too much to endure. Pain is on the inside. Pain inflicted on the outside is just exterior, but on the inside, excruciatingly starts at the centre and it escalates to the outer side making you feel it inside your bones. Makes you want to break down so hard you couldn’t stand up anymore. Inhuman magnitude of strength needed to subdue oneself from losing control, from losing their mind improbable.

I can’t forget. I don’t want to, for you are tattooed to my soul. I beg the divine powers that hold me down, to loosen the barb wire tied around my chest, piercing my skin, to help ease the pain on my wings. Bleeding is draining away my life source. Pandemonic dreams made out of you is erratic and violent. Deluge of explicit moments in time in which I have supposedly spent with you is the omni-present movie etched into my brain. So much fear is imminent the moment it gets dark because I am afraid to close my eyes. I am afraid to shut the light because I am afraid to fall into that disturbing and deep slumber. I am afraid to sleep because I am afraid to delve into the familiar places in my mind. Only reason being the montage of torture has been set to replay.

I only want to hold you in my arms, see you smile, to run my hand through you're hair, to smell you, to caress your smooth skin, to run my fingers down your neck and gradually to your luscious bosoms. To make you feel that you're wanted. I desire your acquiescence for my ardent behaviour to even the slightest bit of you. I hope to tell you that you are loved so hard that if I loved you any more, my heart would stop from the strain

Everything in this world needs a source of life. A source, for never ending energy. Yet everything in this world has a limited source of power that only lasts for a moment in the chronological order. Everything human made that is. For God, has made the human life source never ending. He has made a life source to keep one moving for the entirety of his life till expiration. However, he has set limitations knowing humans are not humble creatures. The only possible way to survive in bliss is to find The one. The only life source known to man for healing hurt, sharing joy, living life, sharing death.

I had found that source of energy in you. Don’t tell me you can’t because you already have. My body had easily accustomed to the new energy surging through my veins. It depended on that very life source, which is now absent. The sudden absence of a lifesource kills anything that requires one. Now deprived of your aura, I am wasting away gracefully. Ten days, ten months, ten years. What is time when you wish it not? Do not mock my existence with your disappearance.

While you’re away, pray for me.

For my departure, from the human limitations.

1 comment:

raj. said...

Apparently.

I will have an update soon enough. I just am ovewhelmed at the moment. Overwhelmed.